User blog:Wingsz/Critiques

I don't mind doing these for people's characters if I'm asked to, but I'm warning ya; I'm a very harsh judge. Fair, but harsh. Ask at your own risk.

To be done:

Completed critiques:

Ali_Atesh_the_Caracal

• This character is, well, a big "meh". Nothing really stands out, I don't know much of the finer details, like his age, family whereabouts, romantic interests etc. I don't feel like I know the character well enough to say anything constructive. There's not much to go on; and that character maker image, man. I cry. Not enough detail on weaknesses, or why he doesn't like to talk about his power. I do, however, like the trivia; and the story about him stopping gangs etc. That was neat. 

Amorevole_the_Hedgehog

• What. I'm not sure who made that image, but the colours are way too saturated. Classic case of "I wanna make your eyes bleed". Word of advice? No more than ONE super saturated colour. Otherwise it looks like cancer. I like the grey eyes, though.
• On another note, the wording/english throughout the whole page is patchy, not that I'm one to talk; but it makes it kinda hard to understand what's trying to be said. The children thing should be rewritten so it doesn't make her seem creepy.
• Bunter was only mentioned once, and then disappeared. Wat. Same with Esperanto. And Lumi. + Parents. Jeez.
• Why is she not affected by the cold?
• Dem weaknesses. Very bleak, not much explanation. Doesn't really balance the perfect Mary-Sue-ish character that she is. 

RoboWillow

• "Sex not being one of those things." Made me giggle, GG.
• The page refers to Willow a lot, but I don't know who that is. You should probably link the first mention to it.
• How did she lose her ability to feel sympathy? How does a robot come to have feelings in the first place?
• Why does the problem worsen when RW tries to explain it with calculations?
• Wh.. Who's Jared?
• Y'know, when you say Willow, I'm not sure if you mean the real Willow you mentioned before, or RW. Nevertheless, why and/or how did either of them come to the power to see into the future? What.
• I really can't tell if Jared is a joke or an actual character. 
• What's EQuartz and can I eat it?
• What, time travel? Seriously? Ugh. So many unanswered questions. Don't do this to me.
• Oh okay, this is Willow.1. Also, that cliche missing rest of letter thing, no; stop it.
• What. Tests? Temporal Sludge? Why were her emotions etc deleted, and how?
• Too many abilities, no explanations, and just.. turntables? Why.
• Is this character a joke? o. I don't see the joke category. Um.
• I could write a lot more, but you already have quite a few things to work on. I'd be happy to continue after you've changed her a bit.

Meep.