Return of Scratch and Grounder is a comedy about Scratch and Grounder from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. They try to get a part in a Sonic game to make a comeback.
(Scratch is just sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.)
Scratch: God, this stinks.
Grounder: What's the matter now?
Scratch: I've been thinking. Have you ever noticed that we haven't had a job in 18 years since our role in that TV show The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog?
Grounder: No.Scratch: Of course not. You can't notice anything because of your nimrod nature.
Grounder: HEY! I'm not THAT STUPID!
Scratch: Never mind that. The point is, we need to make a comeback. Plus, we could use some money.
Grounder: But how do we do that?
Scratch: Get a job, stupid. How do you think we do it?
Grounder: Become hobos. They get lots of money.
Scratch: No, you ding-dong. Hobos are poor.
Grounder: Oh. Well, where can we get a job at this hour?
Scratch: Don't worry. I know a couple places.
Grounder: This is your first plan? Work at McDonald's?
Scratch: What? I love McDonald's. Besides, they give employees free food.
Grounder: Free food, eh?
(A customer walks over to the counter)
Scratch: Hello, sir. May I take your order?
Customer: Give me a Big mac, 2 double cheeseburgers, 3 large fries, 10 20 piece chicken mcnuggets, 16 chicken sandwiches, and a large Coca-cola.
Scratch: That's a very unhealthy choice, so it obviously has got the potential for a major heart attack, but OK. Grounder, I need a Big Mac 2 double cheeseburgers, 3 large fries, 10 20 piece Chicken Mcnuggets, 16 chicken sandwiches, and a large Coca-cola, on the double.
Scratch: Grounder? GROUNDER? What are you doing in there?
Scratch: Grounder, must you make me do everything myse- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Scratch enters the kitchen)
(Scratch sees Grounder, now extremely fat, because he ate everything in the kitchen)
Grounder: I feel like I'm gonna be sick, but it's worth it. (holds in throw-up)
Scratch: Just wait till the boss sees this, he's gonna be pissed. He's right behind me, isn't he?
Boss: YOU DUMB-BOTS!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You're HOLDING UP THE LINE!!!!!
Scratch: It's Grounder's fault. He ate all the food.
Boss: YOU'RE FIRED!!! YOU ARE ALSO BANNED FROM MCDONALD'S FOREVER!! NOW SCRAM!!!
Scratch: FINE! I hope this place burns to the ground in a fire.
Scratch: Well, that sucked.
Grounder: You got any other ideas.
Scratch: That depends. We're going to have to get a job involving something we're good at.
Grounder: Being villains?
Scratch: But we were terrible villains when we were serving Dr. Robotnik. Hmmm, but we could BECOME good villains. I have an idea.
(They decided to become bank robbers. The other robbers promised they'd share some of the money with Scratch and Grounder.)
Thug: OK, you know the drill right?
Grounder: Yeah I do. That's what I have for hands.
Scratch: No, you idiot. He's talking about the mission.
Thug: OK, so take this shotgun, Scratch. Then when you go in the bank, point the gun at people and if they don't give you the money, shoot them.
Scratch: OK. Come on, Grounder. Let's go.
(Then they enter the building and Scratch kicks the door open and points the shotgun at the people).
Scratch: OK, HAND US THE MONEY AND NO ONE GETS HURT!!(Then, unexpectedly, the people have guns too and point them at Scratch and Grounder).
Scratch: What the?!
Grounder: How come you guys have guns too?
Civilian: This is a gun store, not a bank. The bank's next door.
(Then, the people in the store open fire, narrowly missing Scratch and Grounder as they ran out of the gun store for their lives)
Grounder: Whew, that was a close one.
Scratch: YA THINK! THEY NEARLY KILLED US!
(Then the police cars immediatley surround them and Scratch and Grounder are thrown in jail for 3 days).
(3 Days later)
Scratch: Well, at least we're finally out of jail.
Grounder: Yeah. I thought I was going to rust out of boredom.
Scratch: Yeah, I can't think of anymore ideas.
Grounder: But I CAN! Look.
(Scratch and Grounder discover SEGA headquarters, home of Sonic. This was the perfect oppritunity to get back in action in the Sonic Franchise. They IMMEDIATELY enter).
SEGA Executive: Can I help you?
Scratch: We'd like a job as a Sonic character.
SEGA Executive: What accomplishments do you have?
Scratch: Well, we were once servants of Dr. Robotnik. And Grounder here destroyed a homeless shelter. And I was responsible for the sinking of the Titanic.
Grounder(whisper) No you weren't. You weren't even built the time the Titanic sank.
Scratch(Whisper) Shut up and just play along.
Sega Executive: Hmm. Judging from what you said, I think you'd be more suited for a villain role.
Scratch and Grounder: YAY!!!
(So Scratch and Grounder got ready for their role in a Sonic game).
Director: Ok, in this scene, you grab the chaos emerald from the tomb and it starts to collapse and you have to get out. I only got one shot at this stunt, so DON'T BLOW IT! ACTION!
Scratch: Look, Grounder, the Chaos Emerald is OURS!! (he and Grounder start running while the director presses the button)
Grounder: Quick question: When's lunch?
(The set then starts collapsing and Grounder blows the stunt)
Director: YOU DUMB-BOTS!!! YOU BLEW THE STUNT! WAY TO GO, LOSERS!!!!
(Scratch and Grounder get kicked out).
To be continued