Sonic, What Are You Doing? is a fanfic by BearfootTruck. One of several high school fics, it depicts Sonic and Tails attempting to alter the course of history for a class project about the Great War. This story is a parody of an infamous fanfic titled SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: WORLD WAR 2 DRAGON: A SONIC HIGH SCHOOL STORY.
Sonic – now a student at Acorn High School – is given a critical assignment by his History teacher Coach Leatherneck: do a project on the Great War or flunk and get transferred to another high school. Fortunately, he is allowed to partner up with Tails for this project. Then, the Blue Blur gets an idea: he believes that if he goes back in time and kills Genrikh Bolshov before he can start the Great War, then the war will never happen and he'll get an easy "A" on the project. Tails thinks it's a really bad idea, but nevertheless agrees to assist him as a favor.
To make the time machine inconspicuous in the Roseinian landscape, Tails builds it using a Lada sedan as a base, also dropping in a 109 cubic inch engine from an Abarth coupe for added performance. Fortunately, the process doesn't take more than two days of nonstop work by the Two-Tailed Wonder, which is good for the duo because they have until the next Friday to finish their project. After establishing a comms link with Sonic and using the Sonicopter to drop Ol' Blue and the time machine into a safe area in Diamond Dust Zone, Tails wishes him well.
In the past, Sonic makes his way to Nakagrad successfully, but accidentally blurts out his plan to kill Bolshov, thereby leading him to be arrested by agents of the YSPB (Unified State Political Bureau). However, he is saved by Shadow the Hedgehog – who is a girl in this universe – and gets away. The Ultimate Life Form chides him for his foolishness. Nevertheless, Sonic thinks Shadow is very cute and wants to get to know her better. After being rebuffed by Shadow, Sonic relays a status update to Tails, who suggests that he head for a different time and place to get the heat off.
Under protest, Sonic heads back in time again, this time heading to the Kingdom of Mobius, back when Artemis Acorn was king. Artemis seems to recognize Big Blue, telling of a prophecy of a mighty hero who will save the Kingdom from a great evil, a hero that seems to mirror certain characteristics that Sonic possesses. However, the hero is not Sonic himself, which the Blue Blur deduces is due to the fact that somebody in his family lineage is uncool. Artemis has no idea what Sonic is talking about, but Ol' Blue sets off to make whoever is uncool cool. On his way out, he is stopped by Silver the Hedgehog, who is also a girl as well as a Space-Time Continuum Enforcer. She warns him that excessive meddling with the space-time continuum will not be tolerated. Sonic assures her that everything is cool and lies to her about going back to his own time period.
In reality, Sonic is going to Mobius in the middle of the Great War to meet his father, Jules. Jules is developing the first Sonic game for the Genesis, but doesn’t believe it will be a hit and is on the verge of shelving it. Sonic encourages him to finish the game, claiming that he'll become really famous and get cool stuff such as money, women and cars. With diamonds in his eyes, Jules is encouraged to finish the game, so Sonic goes back to the Roseinian Empire before the Great War and heads for the Kremlin. After easily dispatching the guards hired to protect Bolshov, the Blue Blur meets the great dictator himself. However, Bolshov reveals himself as a phony and is really Richard Nixon, self-proclaimed "King of the Hippies". After telling Sonic "welcome to die", the battle begins. Ol' Blue attempts to turn into a dragon, but is unable to do so, and is nearly killed when Nixon turns into Magna-Nixon, who can levitate metal objects using the power of magnetism. A message from Tails informs Sonic that he still has the Chaos Emeralds, so he transforms into Super Sonic and battles it out with Magna-Nixon, eventually defeating him through sheer attrition. Fortunately, Sonic had the foresight to film the whole battle.
Despite Sonic's eagerness to show off the project, Tails convinces him to wait until school actually opens, so he holds off. On Friday, when the project is due, Sonic shows off the video he took of him battling it out with Magna-Nixon. While the entire class is wowed, Coach Leatherneck is less than impressed and flunks Sonic and Tails. However, because the two have otherwise been good students, Coach Leatherneck shows some mercy and decides not to have them transferred to another school. Nevertheless, they both have to stay in detention and do pushups. When the ordeal is over, Sonic and Tails are feeling down, and the latter demands a dozen chili dogs with extra extra cheese, which perks Big Blue up. Then, Shadow and Silver show up, evidently mad at Sonic for messing with history. Big Blue asks them for a threesome, but they go after him and Tails instead.
Tails is doing maintenance on the time machine when Sonic tells the audience that if one is going to build a time machine into a car, then one should do it with style. Suddenly, Silver comes in with a DeLorean time machine and tells Sonic that he has to come back with her to the future.
- Knuckles the Echidna
- Kelly Albanese
- Ronald Butkus
- Glen Sykes (Used car salesman)
- YSPB agents
- Shadow the Hedgehog
- King Artemis Acorn
- Queen Hilda Acorn
- Silver the Hedgehog
- Jules the Hedgehog
- Kremlin guards
- Coach Leatherneck
- Genrikh Bolshov/Richard Nixon
- Coach Leatherneck is heavily based on Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butt-Head.
- Furthermore, Sonic laughing at Ronald Butkus' name – in addition to Coach Leatherneck calling out the names of Jenna Gaylord and Dick Hyman and threatening to have students transferred to Hope High School – are also Beavis and Butt-Head references.
- There are numerous Back to the Future references in the story:
- The first is when Sonic mentions the movie itself when arguing with Tails about time travel.
- Another involves building a time machine out of a car, specifically a Lada.
- Yet another occurs when Sonic asks about getting plutonium to power the car’s time circuits.
- When Sonic is meeting Jules, the exchange about how Jules won't let others see his work out of fear of rejection is a reference to George McFly's initial reluctance to let anybody read his sci-fi stories.
- Finally, during the "Sonic Says" segment, Sonic says to build a time machine with some style, and even says "look out" before the DeLorean appears. Silver then gets out and tells Sonic that he has to come back with her to the future.
- The line about Sonic and Tails needing a montage is a reference to the song "Montage" from the movie Team America: World Police.
- This story marks the first appearance of the Sonicopter.
- This is the first of BearfootTruck's Sonic stories to use gender-bent characters.
- The exchange between Shadow and the YSPB agents contains two Dirty Harry references. Shadow's line translates to "You've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky'? Well do you…punk!?" and the YSPB agent's response translates to "Go ahead…make my day!"
- The line about the West End borough of Emerald City being a wretched hive of scum and villainy is a reference to Star Wars, specifically Episode IV: A New Hope.
- Sonic's bit about pretending to be the pizza man and telling Jules that he can eat money is a reference to a gag dub of a scene from The Matrix done by Knox of the now-defunct Knox's Korner.
- This marks the second appearance of Richard Nixon in one of BearfootTruck's Sonic fics, the first being And Down Will Come Sonic – Cradle and All.
- Richard Nixon's line "welcome to die" is a reference to the 1992 X-Men arcade game.
- Furthermore, his transformation into Magna-Nixon is another reference to Magneto.
- Numerous lines from Nixon are either exact quotations or paraphrases of things he actually said.