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Cquote1 "You know what..? Fuck you and your mother!!" Cquote2
Saren getting pissed off.



Appearance 

Saren is a darkened yellow furred anthromorphic lynx with white fur on his chest, neck, ears and the tip of his tail. He has heterochromic eyes with his left eye being cobalt and his right eye being a very dark shade of red. Grey hair mostly covered up by his durable leather hooded trenchcoat that with holes for his two ears that has a gunmetal coloration that he normally wears unbuttoned.

The coat has many hidden pockets on the inside of the coat that can be filled with many tools,though he normally stores them inside his own shadow so he isn't weighted down from carrying them, such as vials of poisons that he created, sheathed throwing knives, three segments for a blowdart that was meant for quick and easy assembly and disassembly, three pouches filled with twenty darts and other essentials. He also wears a durable dark brown shirt with a mesh underlay woven into the fabric and blue jeans that are fastened securely by a belt with a cartoony skull belt buckle.

For shoes he wears a simple pair of red and dark blue shoes that have small holes in the material in order to reduce noise made by his footsteps when he's walking and sneaking.

Personality

Saren at a glance seems to be a nice guy, which is quite the opposite when you actually get to know him. With a god complex and a twisted delight in taunting and confusing his enemies with cryptic messages that are layered in insulting phrases and comparisons. In addition to that, his delight in the suffering of others has gone beyond a simple necessity to stay at his strongest, now he seems to actually crave the emotional agony of those who are suffering. Heck, even his greed can be hard to deal with.

However, he can be thrown off his game quite easily. One just has to smile and regard him with kindness. When that happens he'll end up losing his nerve for a few moments before attempting to try again with the insults, if met with the same result, he'll end up stopping and start being nice, or at least try to.

History 

Saren was born as an only child to parents who were apart of a cult of assassins called the 'Children of the Ach'Nari'. As a child, he along with fifteen other kids were given up by their parents at the age of five in order to mould them into fighters who would fight and die for the cult. The training was brutal, with the first two years spent on physical conditioning, using harsh training methods such as five kilometer jogs while carrying weighted bags that was first weighed in at fifty pounds, getting ten pounds heavier every two months or being forced to march in a desert with very stuffy clothing on. At the age of seven, Saren along with half of the fifteen kids started learning various skills such as bartering, herbology, poison making, stealth and observation in the form of 'games' with consequences such as starvation or beatings, during the second phase of the training the children were instructed on how to wield various bladed weapons such as daggers and basic Mobian anatomy. This phase of the cult's training program lasted three years.

For three more years he along with the five other kids who survived, the others having died in brutal fashions, had to endure the harshest of cruelties and were given the harshest of punishments for the lightest of slip ups. As a way to numb the children's minds to the sight of killing, both clean and brutal, they were forced to watch and partake in the torturing and executions of various heretics and traitors to the cult. If a child were to vomit at the sight of such brutality or refuse to kill then he or she would be killed by crucifixion, fortunately none of the kids vomited or refused a kill order.

Finally, at the last stretch of the training process. The six children were split into two groups of three and were ordered to fight to the death using whatever means they had at their disposal in order to kill the others and to survive. This also happened to be the day when the high priest of the Children of the Ach'Nari came to observe the recruits, looking for a strong youth with a sharp mind and a boundless cunning for a dark ritual that would grant one child dark powers, but at the cost of his or her soul.

Saren was highly skilled with the dagger but so were the others. Yet Saren had an advantage over the other children. He learned patience and how to observe the movements of others in order to strike when they are most exhausted. As the other children fought to the death he patiently waited for an opportunity to strike, an action that intrigued the high priest, as the other children were exhausted from fighting. Saren made his move, easily killing off the children on the opposite group. But he didn't stop there, as soon as he finished killing his opponents. He turned on his own teammates. Brutally killing them and being the only one left out of sixteen children.

After the exhibition he was given an audience with the high priest. Who proceeded to give him a speech congratulating him before giving him a few days to rest up for his first big mission. Fast forward three years later and Saren is a seasoned assassin, an emotionless killer in the service to the cult. He used the contacts he was given as a way to hone his skills in poison making and herbalism, while the money he earned through the assassination contracts went to the cult's bank accounts. He was allowed to take various artifacts and weapons Imbued with magical properties. Which was how he acquired his scythe and axe, which are unorthodox weapons for an assassins but Saren took a liking to them. Opting to train with them, making sure to hone his skills with the weapons until he was proficient in combat with them.

Things started to go haywire for Saren after four more years of service to the cult. The high priest, after hearing of Saren's stellar service record to the cult, decided that he was the candidate for one of the darkest rituals he was looking for. The priest pulled some strings and soon after, Saren was strapped to a table surrounded by ancient runic circles and glyphs as the priest chanted out eldritch words as a part of the ritual. This ritual was known as the 'Binding of the Dark Sacrament' which would potentially grant the one inside the circle of runes and glyphs the darkest of powers at the cost of his or her life and soul. The ritual was a partial success, while Saren gained the dark powers the ritual said the sacrificial body would obtain and paid the price. His soul and his life was returned to his body in a torrent of dark energy.

This failure of the ritual would mark the end of the cult however. Saren, who was shocked, felt hurt and betrayed. This betrayal, coupled with the lack of a childhood caused him to go insane and massacre the priest. He then proceeded to massacre the cult in a crazed frenzy. Using his newfound powers to turn the cult's own sanctuary into a mass graveyard with a macabre feel to it. After this massacre, he collapsed for two days and when he awoke. He was greeted with the sight of dead bodies everywhere. Saren thought he would feel remorse yet he seemed to feel nothing as he accessed the vast fortune that was earned by the blood and sweat of assassins like Saren for his own use as he decides to take on the original goal of the Children of the Ach'Nari, to destroy the current governing forces and establish himself as the sole leader of the modern world.

The Path To The Eternal Darkness

Saren was still traveling around the world. Hunting for relics of dark powers and mystical might as he had already found three. His scythe, his battle axe and his dagger. He was still looking for a relic rumored to augment one's abilities. He was looking for leads and following rumors when he came across a city being destroyed by two hedgehogs. Saren, disappointed at the fact that the lead was apparently a load of crap. Decided to take a break from his search and relieve built up stress by destroying station square and killing the inhabitants. As he was proceeding to. He met interference in the form of Kyros the Hedgehog, Rapid the Hedgehog and Nate the Hawk. The latter after a short fight that had the end result of him defeating Kyros and forcing Rapid to hide in order to avoid being hit by his Dark Scattershot technique, while prolonged fighting would have left him exhausted. The dark emotions surrounding him refueled and re energized him as he fed upon them. That would be when Nate the Hawk would come in. during the match, it was quickly discovered that they were even. With neither one holding any advantage over the other for long. A notable example of this would be when Nate had blocked his sword. Saren used his free hand to summon his dagger in a cloud of darkness and use it to deliver a slash across Nate's eyes. Shocking Nate, who then proceeded to let out a sonic Squak that ruptured his eardrums while Nate healed himself after a while using magic, as Saren healed himself using the negative emotions that saturated station square. More specifically the fear of the citizens. After a few more minutes of fighting Zerofuse the Hedgehog intervened and shot a fireball at Nate, who teleported out of the way, expecting it to hit Saren. That did not come to pass as Saren swung his scythe at the fireball, absorbing some of it's power while dispersing the rest. He then shadow walked over to Mars before bringing him to Exodus the hedgehog. As the three unleashed their finishers. Mars being called 'Black lightning Fenrir surge' and Saren's being called 'Mausoleum of the Dark Tyrants' Which is separated into three phases. The first and second phase has been activated... The third phase has yet to be revealed.

Saren, during his hunt for relics, met Phalanx The Automaton, who had just finished off a crimelord. The two revealed who they were and why they were there. This created a conflict of interest as Phalanx and Saren dueled in the dark alleys of a city, and later, in an open field, where Saren found the light twin relic of the dark one Saren was using in his fight. The relic of light is what powered Phalanx and contained his soul. As the fight raged on, Saren eventually tried exhausting his relic so the other may follow suit and lose its power as well. His attempts to do so were stopped by Phalanx's tenacity and use of his machine body to gain the upper hand. In the end, Saren rushed at Phalanx with a dagger made of pure darkness and hatred. The two beings clashed and Saren saw the sun on the horizon, the perfect time to use his twilight powers. As the two struggled, Saren materialized two spears that reached out from Phalanx's and his shadows. Phalanx barely escaped and Saren was impaled. In a final insult, Saren latched a part of himself onto Phalanx and promised to destroy everything Phalanx held dear. As his material body died, Phalanx destroyed the dark relic and the relic that housed his and Saren's soul was destroyed as well. While he may have died, Saren's hatred continues to exist as a specter, seeking a suitable host to control.

A few months after his defeat by Phalanx, after he got acclimated to his newfound status as a specter complete with the new powers, abilities and weaknesses this granted him. He met and fought Arashi The Electric Slayer multiple times during what started out as one of Saren's little experiments. This particular experiment was to see if he could perform a fusion using the inner darkness of one's own soul, after the fusion he had planned to take her inner darkness and absorb it into herself. Strengthening him along with the unknown, to Saren at the time, side affect of gaining her black lightning manipulation.

Needless to say, Arashi struggled and even flat out told him to do his worst. Saren, who had been suffering from the side affect of the dark fusion, which was a fit of temporary insanity, proceeded to impale her on a shadow spike that erupted from his shadow and seemingly impaled both of them. At least until Saren had a troll moment and revealed that he had activated his intangibility effect before he and Arashi would be impaled. Leaving him unharmed while Arashi had a large spike impaling her through her stomach, he then proceeded to torture her in various gruesome ways using the shadow spike and even her demon side, or the personification of her inner darkness, showed visible signs that she was afraid that Saren would kill her in a gruesome manner. Which he was tempted to do until he remembered his objective and stopped. Leaving her to lick her wounds while he did the same.

Saren and Arashi encountered each other in an alley way in the slums of Central City. After a brief exchange of words the two proceeded to engage in a brief clash, with Saren toying with her out of boredom and a desire to try and gauge her strength. Seemingly impressed, Saren decided to divulge a small tidbit of his plan while insulting Arashi and comparing her to him as she ran away. Thus indicating that he may have already acquired something from Arashi that will further his plan to become the Anti-God, it was also mentioned that there will be a final battle where the prize is 'the realms and all who reside in them to do with as one pleases'.

Powers

Erebrokinesis

At times, it looks like Saren has Erebrokinesis, and he does. But it is limited by his shadow and what it or the constructs his shadow can create touch. This may seem like a vulnerability, and in all respects it actually would be. If Saren's shadow didn't have a will of its own.

The sentient shadow is literally all of Saren's desires, hopes and emotions fuelling his shadow. Over time these fledgling bits of Saren's psyche melded together with his shadow. Granting it a free will and the memories of Saren. Thus, his shadow can work independently of Saren's will or synchronize with Saren in combat, and since the sentient shadow is connected to Saren. It knows everything about Saren.

One downside to this is that should Saren's life or unlife come to an end, the shadow will cease to exist, so it will do everything in its power to keep Saren alive. Yet despite all of this, Saren is not aware that his shadow is alive.

Recently, Saren has been shown to be capable of actually manipulating the shadows created through sources other than himself, having manifested a light armor that acts as a temporary form of protection without hampering his ease of movement and flexibility. In addition to that he has also created keys made of shadows in order to open locked doors and such, though he has to know how a specific lock works in order to create a skeleton key that will actually work.

Empathy

Saren is able to detect the emotions of those around him and even feed off of and gain strength from if the emotion he is feeding off of happens to be on the negative side of the emotional spectrum. A huge drawback is that he cannot turn this power off and if there are more positive than negative emotions, Saren will start to feel the symptoms of a really bad case of the flu until the source is gone. He has the possibility to gain immense power by feeding on the negative emotions that he gives off or others give off. He is an emotivore, meaning he can survive by eating others dark emotions.

Intangibility

Saren can phase through most attacks attacks because of his ghost like properties, how he does this is by concentrating just as an attack is about to connect with him. When the attack connects with him, it just goes straight through him without injuring Saren. Most of the time, this trick surprises those he hasn't fought before or those who don't know his powers, leaving them open for a sudden case of shadow spike through the chest. There are limits however, Saren cannot phase through magical attacks at all, no matter how hard he tries. If Saren is caught off guard, he won't be able to slip through the attack nor will he be able to avoid it. Finally, Saren can only phase through attacks continuously for a total of five minutes before his intangibility deactivates and he has to wait a period of ten seconds before he can use it again.

Techniques

Erebrokinetic Techniques

Blades of Darkness - Can be conjured from his own shadow or any other shadow Saren's own shadow is connected to.

Shadow Force - Through turning his entire body into a cloud of shadows. For attacking, attack evasion and increased mobility.

Advance Dark Singularity - A last ditch move he has in his arsenal.

Shadow Claw - Using his own unclipped claws or his weapons.

Shadow Bind - Taking on the form of tendrils wrapping around the opponent from their own shadows.

Dark Palm - Purely a physical move augmented by his own erebrokinetic prowess to generate more force in the blow.

Shadow Rave - As a painful immobilizing technique involving shadow tendrils puncturing through non fatal points in the body and remaining taut so as to restrict movement heavily or as a silent killing technique through the puncturing of the throat, voice box, eyes, heart, lungs, larynx, brain stem and carotid arteries.

Shadow-Haunt - Speed oriented, can be used in conjunction with his ghostly phasing to further the deception of this move being a form of teleportation.

Absolute extinguisher cloak - A stealth technique developed by Saren to counter technological, magical and supernatural based sensory types. This move works by using darkness, which is the absence of all things including light, as a thin yet almost unnoticeable cloak meant to eat away at his own energy signature. Thus keeping him from being detected by those who are able to sense the presence of others. Weaknesses of this technique include the brief flash that indicates the technique has been activated, not being able to use any of his powers if he wants to keep the cloak's effect from wearing off and the fact that this technique only hides his energy signature, meaning that he has to be careful to avoid detection by sight and sound along with traps such as tripwires and such.

Trusted Allies 

People whom Saren trusts to back him up should he need it, this trust is quite rare as Saren is obsessively careful on who he trusts.

  • Zapor - These two have an odd friendship, with Zapor liking guns and explosions, how could the two not hit it off well? Plus they've been on quite a few adventures together.
  • Fey - Despite how he may act towards her at times, he does actually care for her. To what extent hasn't been revealed but he is willing to risk his unlife for her.
  • Echo - They don't interact much, but Saren does consider her a friend. Otherwise he would be a lot more snarky and rude to her when they do interact.
  • Trinity - He understands her, they both have their issues, they both take lives for money and they both share similar viewpoints on things. This was shown when the mythic knights were debating on executing Bravo, of course the job fell to Saren because he was the only one willing to do it.
  • Neo - The leader of the Mythic Knights, Saren does show him quite a bit of respect, far more than any other authority figure because in his mind Neo has earned it throughout the adventures they had.
  • Kala - Saren finds her to be a bit naive in how things work, which is a stark contrast to his at times jaded personality. While this may irritate Saren, nevertheless he'll still fight alongside her.
  • Alyssa - Despite his assholeish behavior towards her, and especially with how she doesn't ever seem to be phased by it. Saren does think of her as a friend. Though he does not like it when she glomps him because of how heavy she is.

Allies of Grudging Convenience

These are people whom Saren find incredibly distasteful, he'll work alongside them if he absolutely must but don't expect any favors from him.

  • Delta - Former enemies, now allies, if only barely. He finds her to be an incredibly useless individual who didn't seem to understand the necessity of killing her brother Bravo. As a result of his execution of Bravo, she quite possibly loathes Saren. Saren himself loathes her as well and feels no remorse for killing Bravo. 

Loathed Enemies 

These are people whom Saren can honestly say that he loathes with all of his spectral being. Whether due to his own pride or because of circumstances are irrelevant, he'd sooner let the planet burn than work with these individuals.

  • Phalanx The Automaton - Saren hates Phalanx for ruining his plans, forcing him to resort to suicide techniques, and even destroying the relic that would be his ticket to godhood. Saren knows he isn't truly gone and is preparing for the fated final rematch with everything on the line.
  • Kyros the Hedgehog - Kyros interfered in Saren's fun, in retrospect that wasn't a good idea although they barely fought.
  • Rapid the Hedgehog - Same with Kyros, interfered with Saren's fun though they barely fought.
  • Nate the Hawk - He interfered with Saren's fun, the only difference between him and the other two was that he and Saren actually fought. At first Saren had the upper hand but Nate's loud hawk squawking caught him by surprise and he was deafened temporarily, this lead to Saren getting enraged and attacking Nate with renewed vigor. His hatred of the hawk being the driving factor behind his continued assault.
  • Arashi The Electric Slayer - Saren despises Arashi for two key reasons. Reason number one is that Arashi denied him what he was after and even after the torture he put her through she wouldn't submit. Reason number two is because she made him lose his composure and give in exclusively to his rage, something which has happened only twice before he met Arashi.
  • Blitz the Wolf - It is currently unknown when they have met or why Saren dislikes him so, but there are rumors that Saren and Blitz have encountered each other before and battled. No one knows how the fight ended but it seems Blitz may have ruined or delayed one of Saren's attempts to gain more power and reacquire a physical body.

Abilities

Night vision

Cats have special eyes that allow them to see perfectly in the dark, Saren is a Lynx. Which is a type of feline, need I say more?

Cat like reflexes

Saren can see objects that are moving towards him at a faster rate more clearly and react accordingly thanks to both his feline ancestry and his time as an assassin.

Stealth

Felines are stealthy by nature and the fact that Saren is proficient in shadow travel and is a trained assassin for hire only helps him out more in the stealth department.

Enhanced hearing

Saren, due to his feline ancestry and his days as an assassin, has a more acute hearing range than most mobian species, with the only mobian species that naturally have better hearing than he does being mobian canines and mobian bats.

Ambidextrous

Saren was born ambidextrous, meaning he can use objects in both hands without any loss of attack speed or grip. This is a boon to Saren because he uses twin knives in combat and that particular fighting style requires that one be ambidextrous in order for the wielder of the knives to use them to their fullest capabilities.

Skills 

Master herbalist

Over the course of Saren's life as a cultist assassin and beyond, he has had to eliminate various targets. Thus, in order to increase his tactical diversity and overall efficiency in a contract, he took on the art of herbalism, this practice is a tricky one for an assassin because the plants an assassin would grow tend to be poisonous, some of them even fatal. Saren has learned and practiced this skill even after he massacred the Children of the Ach'Nari, this skill over the course of fifteen years has been practiced and improved upon by Saren.

Eidetic Memory

The reason why Saren is able to remember things he has had experience in almost perfect clarity is because he was born with an eidetic memory. An eidetic memory is pretty much where one can collect and store information in their brains without the risk of forgetting information by actually seeing it. This doesn't mean he will remember directions, or any form of teaching that relies upon auditory learning, very well.

Poison creation

In addition to herbalism. Saren also learned the complex procedures of poisons and how to make them because he knows that not every contract can be solved with the iconic method of getting close to a target and slitting their throats. Some of his contracts required him to take out really influential people who are high flight risks and have had assassination attempts on them before. Thus, he has studied and observed every aspect of how some of his former colleagues made poisons. From the ingredients they used, how much they used and even the equipment they used and how they maintained it. Thus, over the course of his life he went from a novice who could make non lethal poisons that really didn't do much to moderately complex poison recipes that could incapacitate a target to lethal poisons that couldn't be traced in an autopsy lab over the course of fifteen years, he still practices this skill so he doesn't get rusty and make mistakes.

Adaptability

Thanks to Saren's time as an assassin, he has had to adapt to various situations during contracts just in case Murphy's Law decides to pop in and ruin everything for him. This healthy paranoia started after one of his earliest contracts somehow managed to go horribly wrong. Saren, who could never consider failure to be acceptable, pushed on and completed the contract to kill the head of a company that was gaining influence rapidly and threatening the cult's safety. Narrowly escaping with his life in the process. Now he makes sure that he is prepared for any reasonable situation that could go very wrong.

Throwing knife proficiency

Saren is skilled with the art of throwing knives, able to hit a target from a medium range with ease depending on the conditions. he carries a set of six stainless steel throwing knives as well as a set of six carbon steel throwing knives, he doesn't have a preference on which set he uses but he does take time to actually retrieve them from the corpses if possible.

Proficiency in three weapon styles

Saren is skilled in the use of three specific close range weapons, able to go toe to toe with foes in close range should the need arise due to him spending most of his life training and learning during his time as an assassin.

  • Executioner's Axe - This is Saren's least used weapon, though he is still skilled with it, as Saren is about speed and silence, an executioner's axe seems to be a less graceful way to fight but Saren manages, why he bothered to learn how to fight with an axe if he doesn't use it much is a question no one has any answer to.
  • Twin Daggers - Saren has trained and trained in the art of twin dagger fighting, a very useful skill since he is ambidextrous, Saren can add poisons to the blade at any time in order for up close and personal assassinations.
  • Farmers Scythe - Saren has a special bond with his scythe, as he is able to use his powers in conjunction with the scythe to make him an even greater threat, though if he's disarmed he runs a dangerous game that has a penalty of death for Saren.
    • Recently, his old farmer's scythe had been destroyed in a conflict with a demon of destruction. It was during that fight that he was given a new scythe made entirely of shadows to further channel his erebrokinesis called 'Dark Intent' by the Spirit of Shadow in NeoExlucky's 'Tales of the Echo' RP series.

Weaknesses

Lightning

One of the only elements that can fuck up his day, lightning is something that he hates because of the sole fact that he just can't seem to phase through anything that can give him a good shock. Worst part about this is that lightning from any source, whether it's created through magical, natural or man made sources, will always bypass his phasing ability or even his shadow magic and electrocute him.

Light

Saren is especially vulnerable to light based attacks seeing as how his main element is of the darkness, this weakness is amplified thanks to his twilight manipulation. Also, take into consideration that he's a ghost and you get a 3x damage modifier in favor of light based attacks.

Greed

As Saren is an emotivore, he is strongly connected to certain emotions and desires. One of which is greed. His greed can overrule rational thought and concern for friends, to the point where he would even turn against his friends for power, at critical moments when something he desires is within his grasp. Making it easier to be enthralled or manipulated by those with such skills.

Positive Emotions

Saren is an emotivore who feeds and gains strength from the darker aspects of the emotional spectrum, positive emotions are like an anathema to him. Being able to sap away at his powers, thus weakening his combat capabilities immensely. This doesn't mean he himself can't feel or express positive emotions, just that he can't absorb them.

His scythe

Saren's scythe is what keeps him tethered into the physical plane. If Saren loses his scythe for long periods of time and finds himself unable to recall the weapon to his hand within the next 20 minutes he'll start to lose his abilities.

Holy symbols, wards and relics

Saren, being a hybrid between living and dead, is vulnerable to various things of a holy nature. Symbols and wards meant for warding away evil will forcibly dematerialize Saren and leave him unable to interact with anyone or anything in the material plane. Holy relics on the other hand could banish his soul from the material plane, thus 'killing him' until he can gather enough strength to forcibly escape from limbo.

Silver

Silver is used as a way to inflict serious damage to supernatural entities like werewolves or vampires or even spirits, Saren counts as a spirit so it'd do some damage to him. Since Saren is considered an evil spirit, silver could do some major damage to him depending on how its used.

Salt

Salt can be used to render a ghost who is currently intangible tangible, meaning they are susceptible to physical attacks in addition to the regular vulnerabilities to magic. Though Saren does rely on his phasing quite extensively, if one were to toss salt on him they would be able to neutralize his phasing. Though Saren is no slouch when it comes to hand to hand combat.

Wide Open Areas

Saren, being a shadow assassin, tends to work well in places with many shadows close together, like alleyways for example. Place him with an opponent in a place with little shadows or a place that isn't small like a farmstead field for example and he'll be placed at a disadvantage. 

Inexperience

Saren, despite the life he's lived and his experiences, is still young and considerably inexperienced. Meaning he's overconfident, easily frustrated and prone to acting rashly. If his normal method of doing things wasn't working and his opponent was proving frustrating, this would end up upsetting Saren. When upset he is prone to making mistakes and not seeing things he could normally see if he were to keep a level headed outlook on the situation.

Though one plus side is that he attacks with more force and reckless abandon when enraged, so in simpler terms he trades in tactical planning and observation for full on reckless attacking.

Trivia

This character's fourstat code is 7995

Quotes

"All hail the greatest troll in the history of trolls!! Now somebody get me a Jaeger-Bomb.. Wait, make that seven Jaeger-Bombs and some Rum chata to chase that shit down!!"

"I'm here to kick ass and drink booze, and I just brought a case of budweiser!!" 

"Well then, either I'm really drunk or you just said something so asinine that it managed to induce a drunken stupor..."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! I have to go through all that bullshit and I don't even get paid!? Fuuuuck being a hero!"

"I will stare at you until you decide to change what you are doing. Don't worry, my eyes don't dry out."

"I may not always drink bo- The fuck am I saying!? If I'm sober, i'm fucking pissed!"

"Everyone's favorite cat is back and still an asshole!"

"... You gotta be shitting me!!"

"God.. Why do people always hit me in the dick!? If its gone how else am I gonna have fun!!?"

"You know, I barely ever get serious.... But you, you fucked with the wrong cat, no.. You fucked with the few people in this boring dustball of a planet that I call friends...! I hope you have asswhooping insurance because i'm about to collect with my foot up your ass you stupid fuck!"

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