Thread:CrimsonFlame2K/@comment-32220816-20170617025752/@comment-9749276-20170617050952

I'll be honest. This is probably the first time I've ever tried to critique someone else's character, so I won't make any promises on giving any legit criticisms, but I'll give it a go since you asked me to. I warn you that I may be a bit merciless here.

Now, the first problem with Alexia is that some of the sections in her page are listed in bullet form, which I believe is a big no-no when it comes to character pages unless it's the Trivia section. These are probably things that are an important or at least note-worthy aspect of the character that needs more elaboration than a single fucking bullet.

Your second problem is that the page is just shoddily written and terribly disorganized, especially in regards to her Personality and History. The way it's written looks unprofessional and very difficult to take seriously. Also, you really didn't put much effort into elaborating just how proficient Alexia is with her powers.

The only remotely good part of the page is her goddamn quote. I'm not saying it's the philosophical speech to end all philosophical, but it does remind me of one of the core traits of Steven Universe (both the character and the series itself), and that's something I can genuinely appreciate. Also, making her a homosexual is an interesting character trait, but if you're gonna point something like that out, add it to the Personality section, and make sure to elaborate on it as well.

Overall, Alexia is actually quite decent and has potential but, as it is right now, it's a gigantic disorganized mess that needs a shit-ton of cleaning up.

Good day.