User blog comment:BlurayOriginals/PUN TIME/@comment-4883076-20120812213230

prepare for lawyor jokes!

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.

As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking..

"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million.."

"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.."

"Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.."

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">This sort of thing went on for almost 5 minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">What can I do for you?"

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">The man replied "I'm from the phone company..I came to hook up your phone.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, "1,228."

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"That's right! You may enter."

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."