User blog:Tweakenberries/New story in the making

Hey guys! For the past couple of days, i've been working on a story of my own. I've got the first few chapters done so far, but i've added a prologue in an attempt to draw people into the story rather than just jumping straight to chapter one. If you had no clue about the plot or characters, and you read this, what would you think?

The young flicky flew in what she now saw as circles, crying for her family, struggling to be heard over the harsh arctic winds. She shrieked as she nearly collided with an iceberg, her wings just scraping the sides in her wild struggle to change direction. She wished that the moon was visible tonight, just so she could get some beacon to guide her back to her mother. The flicky was about to give up, when a glint caught her eye. Hope filling her mind, she turned and, letting the wild winds carry her wings, glided towards it. It was resting in a small indent on a mountain side, five times the size of her wingspan. A single flame, flickering with all colours of the spectrum, was sticking out of the snow. Chattering wearily (while not seeming to ask questions), the flicky curled around it, the warmth overwhelming the coldness of the snow. She would make it out alive after all. But, if the flicky had been watching, she would’ve noticed that the flame was not alone. Dozens of others dotted the mountain, leading, like the swirl of a candy cane, to the top, where two dark figures stood. The winds didn’t bother them, for their kind thrived in the colder climate. “Will he notice our little...guiding lights?” the smaller figure asked, not bothering to strain to be heard over the wind. The other flicked his ear, and growled affirmatively. “Yes,” his voice seemed to be a part of the darkness. “Look above.” The first speaker looked up, in time to see the winds carry a crimson feather gently to her feet.

You guys are the first to read this, what do you think?? Thanks in advance for any advice.