Board Thread:Article Critique/@comment-26434802-20141117215241/@comment-1942179-20141120150115

A category for roleplays a character has been in is completely unnecessary. I'm just goint to assume you meant a section/header on the page listing all the roleplays she's been in, as well as the relationships with other characters.

Her page is rather short, so I could probably whip up a review right here and now.

So first up, Snowflake is a half-echidna, half weather lord hybrid? My first question here is this: Is a weather lord a species? It appears so, as you keep referring to her as 50% mobian; yet she takes on a 100% mobian echidna appearance. I think we need to know what exactly this weather lord is. All we know is that it's a powerful lord of weather, and it probably isn't mobian. We should have details, like what he looks like, where he's from, what he is, etc. This is very important, seeing as Snowflake is 50% his species and inherits his powers.

Moving on, I can understand Snowflake's mother just up and dying, I guess. But someone as great and important as the Weather Lord of Snow deserves some sort of explanation. Also, if the Amulet of Blizzards was created after her father died, then we ought to know who the creator was as well. They sound pretty important to the plot as well, yet remain completely enigmatic.

And then we get to Eggman's attack. I probably could have predicted this from the very beginning. For whatever reason, Eggman always seems to randomly attack fancharacter's homes in their backstories. I'm of course guilty of this as well, but we need to give him a reason. Eggman doesn't just attack wildly and randomly without any goals behind it. What was he after? Why did he assault Ice Cap?

Of course, where Eggman goes, Sonic follows behind, and offers to let her join the main heroes. I was slightly surprised that you subverted that generic course the story could have taken there. There is one problem left, though. And that is how she 'freely travels from Ice Cap to Station Square'. Let us remember where Ice Cap is, shall we? Somewhere in the high mountains of Angel Island--which is in the sky. I'm sure you can see the contradiction here. How does she get down? And better yet, how does she get back up? Of course, I face the same problem myself, with a certain character. I haven't exactly explained his methods either, but I have given it some thought and even planned to make it a plot point in a story.

Her skills, powers and weaknesses only have a grand total of three sentences. Try to elaborate more on those sections; weather is an interesting ability, after all!

In conclusion, some important key facts are left out entirely, so there is a lot of explaining to be done. What you pretty much have down now is a little more than a skeleton of what it could be. In other words, I feel it's unfinished. In addition to adding more description and explanations to the story, it would be good to have a section describing her relationships with other characters like Clastus suggested. A list of roleplays, fanfics, and other places she may have appeared in would be nice too.

That's about all I can give on this character for now. Good luck, and I hope this helped!