Board Thread:Article Discussion/@comment-33279589-20180331031421/@comment-27984457-20180331150803

I haven't got round to Yuki or Bianca yet, but I'll just say again what I said on Discord seeing everyone was writing over each other and stuff.


 * Firstly, the designs alright. It's cute, but a little bland.
 * Although this isn't a character problem, there are some parts of the article that are redundant, namely the outfits section.
 * Azmaria's personality is just dull. There's are loads and loads of cheerful people in fiction, and there's nothing to make Azmaria stand out. She can't be happy all the time.
 * The first part of the History section is illogical. She was made artificial and suddenly started making friends? Because loads of people accept artificial beings as friends instantly. What did she do inbetween that time? Why was she made?
 * The second half of the History section is literally a rehash of the personality section. There's nothing else too it.
 * "While not having any superpowers as such, Azmaria developed a strange power." That is literally what a superpower is.
 * As for her shield, it surrounds them at all times? So she has an unbreakable shield that can be created with no effort?
 * Some of the trivia points are redundant.
 * "Azmaria loves telling the truth all the time." That actually comes across to me as more of a flaw than a good thing.

Overall, to put it bluntly, Azmaria is a bad character. As Max said, you took literally none of our advice(although, admittedly, a lot of it wasn't particularly helpful). I'll get round to the others at some point.