Board Thread:Article Critique/@comment-5732702-20140914234014/@comment-5732702-20141107223330

Now that Wikia is actually letting the forum load for me, let me start by saying thanks for the review, Skull.

I'm gonna be quick here because I plan on actually doing Checkers' review today. ;_;


 * Yeah, I'm not gonna say anything to sugarcoat how long her backstory is. In my notebook the whole page took up five entire sheets of paper with the backstory being most of them. Separating it into subsections would make it a lot easier for someone to, say, read it parts at a time. I plan on doing this, but my problem is I'm horrible with titles. ;_;
 * About the injured girl, that's actually Valencia after she was attacked and got her curses and blah blah blah. I need to rewrite Val's backstory to be somewhat similar to what it was before I deleted it but actually good this time.
 * I've never been very good with names, but I honestly could name her biological father. You're right, it would create some nice conflict for him to run into Sapphie, and I could end up making him a good part of the story. Her mother and step-mother don't seem that important to me.
 * I can try to find a good/decent way to introduce Dmitri, but it'll be tough both that I'm still pretty much a noob at stories and I never have the time to write anymore (dang school work).
 * I should probably mention somewhere in there how top secret his work and research was kept from Sapphie. While him being brought back as a cyborg might be cool, she'd have no way to or knowledge of how to do it. And I'm honestly not sure if she'd be interested in his research, but she might be. What if she gets messed up a bit and needs to fix herself? This is definitely something for me to consider.
 * And finally...I have absolutely no idea. I need to think of a reason that fits with her personality and backstory. ._.;

This review was very helpful. Thank you so much for the suggestions; when I have the time I'll certainly put as much work as I can into making her even better! ovo