Roleplay:Nothing

Yes, this is an actual roleplay. You are not on drugs, this is real. WAKE UP AND SEE THAT THIS IS REAL!!!

Overview
This has no specific plot. MAKE STUFF UP AS YOU GO ALONG, PEOPLES!

Rules

 * Swearing should be censored. (Damn, hell, ass/arse, and crap are exceptions.)
 * Keep everything you write PG-13 rated at WORST.
 * You can include cannon characters and characters from other fandoms.
 * No Rule 34 stuff. Kissing, hugging, and flirtation is okay.
 * Minimal smoking/drinking is okay.
 * You can include real people.
 * Be as silly as you can.
 * HAVE FUN!

Characters Included
Speedyblue-A SFW user.

Speedy the Fox-Speedyblue’s fursona. (Speedyblue)

Wikikinetic-Another SFW user.

GothicBandicoot-Yet ANOTHER SFW user...

The Twiceler-A Lorax OC (This one is not specific to any user. Anyone can use him.)

Speedy’s Cousin-No, not the one that likes memes. The one that is constantly playing Destiny.

Skyblade743-Another SFW user who is seriously questioning his life choices at this point.

Rosebud-Okay, finally an character who isn’t a fursona or user! (Speedyblue)

Platinum-Silver’s...ancestor? (Speedyblue)

Guest Stars

 * Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)-Gotta Go Fast!
 * Knuckles the Echidna (Sonic the Hedgehog)-Rapper...?
 * The Tick (The Tick)-THAT’S JUST WRONG!
 * Miles “Tails” Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog)-I can be as cool as Sonic if I believed in myself!
 * Parappa (Parappa the Rapper)-I GOTTA BELIEVE!
 * Spyro the Dragon (Spyro the Dragon)-Wants to kick Guh-nasty Guh-norc's butt...again.
 * Megurine Luka (Vocaloid)-Wants you to Go Google It.
 * Camui Gakupo (Vocaloid)-Always Googles it. [Is that the correct way to write it?]
 * Osana Najimi (Yandere Simulator)-BAKA!
 * Hastune Miku (Vocaloid)-Suffers from multiple personality disorder.
 * Kasane Teto (UTAU)-You are indeed stupid.
 * The Onceler (The Lorax)-HOW BAD CAN I POSSIBLY BE?!
 * WatchMojo-Some YouTubers that are running out of ideas.
 * Young Garmadon (Ninjago)-One of the Ninja's greatest enemies. But here, he's young and still a good guy. Great!
 * Young Wu (Ninjago)-Sensei Wu, the Ninja team leader...when he's young and inexperienced. Not as great.
 * Paddington Bear (Paddington)-Please look after this bear.
 * Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)-Chaos Control!
 * Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)-I wish I was popular...
 * Infinite (Sonic the Hedgehog)-Edgyyyyyyy!
 * Kaito (Vocaloid)-I get shipped with everyone!
 * Meiko (Vocaloid)-Although Kaito belongs to me.
 * Batman (The Lego Batman Movie)-HE'S BATMAN.
 * Superman (The Lego Batman Movie)-READYYYYYYY? FIGHT! [Against Batman]
 * The Joker (The Lego Batman Movie)-Batman's arch-nemesis...even though Batman thinks that it's Superman.
 * Taehyung (BTS)-Did you see my bag?
 * Jungkook (Also from BTS)-No. Did you see my bag?

Memes Included

 * NO ONE STOPS KNUCKLES FEET!
 * I gotta believe!
 * Anything from the Lorax
 * Infinite’s the edgiest!
 * Find Taehyung’s bag

Participants

 * Speedyblue
 * Wikikinetic
 * GothicBandicoot
 * Skyblade743

Chapter 1: Please Be Online!
(Speedyblue is checking the Recently Edited page.)

Speedyblue: Refresh. Refresh. REFRESH.

Speedy the Fox: What are you doing?

Speedyblue: R e f r e s h. REFRESH!

Sonic: These people can’t edit like me! I’m not only the fastest runner, but also the fastest editor!

Knuckles: (Rapping) No one’s editing, I don’t know what.

(Speedyblue receives an email.)

Knuckles: (Continues rapping) Someone’s editing but I don’t know who!

Speedy the Fox: (Rapping) Someone’s editing more and more!

Wikikinetic: (Rapping) NO ONE STOPS WIKI'S FEAT! *claps*

Speedyblue: (Rapping) W-I-K-I-K-I-N-E-T-I-C. Was born for a lifetime on...er...

Speedy the Fox: That’s not important.

Wikikinetic: (Rapping) My duty's to protect Master Emerald diamond. (Stops rapping) Wait, emerald diamond?

Wikikinetic and The Tick: But that's just wrong!

Speedyblue: (Rapping) Hold the climate, he’s searching for shining. (Stops rapping) Nope, nope.

GothicBandicoot: The heck?

Speedyblue: Um...SA2 nostalgia? And besides, Knuckles kept rapping in the last roleplay.

Sonic: (Singing) IT DOESN’T MATTER, NOW WHAT HAPPENS!

GothicBandicoot: Yeah, yeah. You'll never give up the fight, as long as the voice inside drive you to run and fight.

Sonic: (Continues singing) IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO IS WRONG AND WHO IS RIGHT!

Tails: Oh! Can I go next? (Singing) I will believe in myself!

Parappa: I gotta believe!

Speedyblue: Oh, PlayStation! You brought us the wonderful things of the 90’s! Oh, wait. I wasn’t alive...

Spyro: Yeah, well, Parappa isn't getting a remaster.

(Speedyblue starts laughing)

Speedyblue: You’re serious, right? He got one TWO YEARS AGO!

Spyro: ...oh.

GothicBandicoot: Man, Spyro. You've been living under a rock.

Speedyblue: Don’t worry, the remaster sucks anyway. 61 for the remaster, 92 for the original on Metacritic. Oh, well. It’s out of print, anyway.

Tails: AHEM! I was SINGING! (Singing) I will believe in myself!

Knuckles: (Singing) Won't rely on others!

Tails: (Glares at Knuckles) This is my song!

Knuckles: (Singing) I will not surrender!

Spyro: I wish I had a vocal theme song...

Speedyblue: WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN! I guess I have to Google it, since I don’t keep up with Spyro...

Luka: JUST GOOGLE IT!

Speedyblue: (Is shook) Damn, Luka. You don’t have to shout at me.

Spyro: Hm...

Speedy the Fox: WHY WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME GOOGLING IF SOMEONE LIKES EGGPLANT, GAKUPO?!

Gakupo: Because...she’s my friend.

Speedyblue: And what kind of friend would tell you to “Go Google It”?

Speedy the Fox: The Tsundere?

Osana: BAKA!

Miku and Teto: Baka, baka, baka!

Speedyblue: What?

Chapter 2: How Ba~a~a~ad Can I Be?
The Onceler: (Rap-Singing? [Is that what you call it?]) I’m just doing what comes naturally!

The Twiceler: Why naturally? Trees are natural, you’re cutting them down. That isn’t natural. The world would become mechanical.

Speedyblue: Hey! We got some people actually thinking!

Speedy the Fox: You’re always thinking, stupid.

Osana: WHY DID YOU CALL ME THE SOURCE OF BAKA, WIKI?! I DIDN’T INVENT THE WORD, BAKA!

Speedyblue: But you made it popular with English speakers like me!

Miku: Baka, baka, baka! That’s fun to say! Baka!

Osana and Miku: BAKAAAAAAAA!

The Onceler: MY BROTHER RUINS EVERYTHING! (Continues rap-singing) How ba~a~a~ad can I be? I’m just following my destiny!

(Speedy’s cousin is now seen playing Destiny.)

Speedy’s Cousin: THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER!!1!!1!!1

(Suddenly, a WatchMojo video starts playing.)

WatchMojo: Yeah, the adventure was great, but hooooooo, what a crappy story!

Speedyblue: How to trigger my cousin, fast forward a little bit.

(WatchMojo’s speech is now fast-forwarded.)

Speedyblue: Aaaaaaaaaand, stop.

(WatchMojo’s speech is now slowed down.)

Watchmojo: Number 7: Destiny.

(Speedy’s cousin looks up)

Speedy’s Cousin: Destiny does not have a bad story. ''Destiny does not have a bad story! '''DESTINY DOES NOT HAVE A BAD STORY!!!!!!!! '

Speedyblue: Look, the mature and oldest member of our clan is getting ''mad. ''

(If you’re wondering, I believe his real life reaction would just be “Alright. Your opinion.”)

Skyblade: Is this Destiny thing a running gag or something?

Speedyblue: Nope! He just really loves Destiny!

Speedy the Fox: It’s his favorite game!

Speedyblue: That’s correct!

The Onceler: YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING, BROTHER! EVERYTHING~!

Young Garmadon: Indeed, brother. And they have all the needles!

Jay: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Young Wu: And he's not your brother, I am!

Young Garmadon: I never said that Jay was your brother!

(Paddington gives all of them one of his hardest stares ever)

Speedyblue: I am not looking after this bear...

Speedy the Fox: But he’s nice!

Watchmojo: Welcome to Watchmojo.Com, and today we’re counting down the Top Ten Anime Betrayals.

Speedyblue: (*☻-☻*) HOW IS THAT AN ANIME BETRAYAL?!

Watchmojo: Shhhhhhh. Don’t tell anyone.

Chapter 3: Sawnikkkkkkkkk
Speedyblue: (Singing) Go go go go go go go! Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast! Gotta go faster faster faster faster faster!

Sonic: 4KIDS, WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST DO SONIC DRIVE IN ENGLISH?! IS IT TOO JAPANESE?! Oh, wait. I think a character on the wiki says that way too often...

Speedy the Fox: You think?!

Miku: “Too Japanese” is very racist. Very, very, very racist. I’m Japanese, so I should know.

Teto: I’M JAPANESE, TOO AND THE WORDS “TOO JAPANESE” ARE VERY RACIST!

The Onceler: And I can be an anime villian! (Starts singing How Bad Can I Be in Japanese)

Miku: Comparing everything relating to Japan to anime is also racist.

Watchmojo: WELCOME TO WATCHMOJO.COM AND TODAY WE’LL BE COUNTING DOWN THE TOP TEN MOST SAVAGE ANIME VILLIANS!

Speedyblue: You’re running out of ideas!

Watchmojo: And you’re...I can’t make a comeback can I?

Everyone Else: NOPE!

Speedyblue: And we are not watching The Bolt to E3! EVER! Uhhhhh, Live and Learn?

Sonic: (Singing) HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW! (Is unable to hang on any longer and falls off)

Skyblade: Wow. That's a long fall. Fitting considering the state of the franchise.

Sonic: (While falling) Whyyyyyyy me?! WHY CAN’T IT BE CRASH BANDICOOT?! HECK, EVEN SPYRO OR EVEN PARAPPA!

Speedy the Fox: NEVER FEAR THE FALL! (Singing) In this world~!

(And Sonic didn’t die...yet. He's still got 30 minutes till he hits the ground.)

Vendeta Blue: (Teleports in with Crash Bandicoot, Spyro and Parappa the Rapper) As requested. My creator.

Skyblade: Thanks Blue. (throws Crash, Spyro and Parappa over the cliff)

Vendeta Blue: My pleasure. Do you. Have any. Other requests?

Skyblade: Go kill Vendeta for me. That's what you always do, right?

Vendeta Blue: As you wish. (Vanishes)

Wikikinetic: Oh no! (Places a large beanbag under the characters who fell off the cliff. They bounce off of the bag, but then disappear in a large burst of flame in mid-air.)

Goku: AAAH. AAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAH.

Wikikinetic: Oh no. Now we got Goku angry.

Goku: AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAH.

(Wikikinetic looks helplessly at the other members of the roleplay)

Speedyblue: Why did you do that? Spyro could’ve took everyone back up.

Parappa: It’s okay! Because we believed!

Speedy the Fox: Now believe that you aren’t paper thin.

Parappa: You know my name is a play on words. Japanese word for paper thin.

Speedyblue: (Uses Google Translate) Either you’re wrong, or Google Translate is just being stupid.

Parappa: I think it’s the latter. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!

Speedy the Fox: Don’t start rapping...

Goku: AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAH.

Wikikinetic: What, he's still yelling?

Wikikinetic: Yeah! He does that for two minutes!

Wikikinetic: Since when have there been two of you?

Wikikinetic: Since when have there been two of you?

Goku: AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAH.

Wikikinetic: Shut up, Goku. Shadow, can you make him shut up?

Shadow: My pleasure. Chaos...Control!

(Goku disappears)

Wikikinetic: That's not how Chaos Control works.

Shadow: Chaos Control!

(Wikikinetic disappears, or, if there are two Wikikinetics, both of them disappear.)

Speedyblue: Wiki has an identical twin?!

Speedy the Fox: YEAH! AN IDENTICAL TWIN! ISN’T THAT COOL?!

Speedyblue: No.

Silver: Uncool like me.

Platinum: Silver, are you my ''descendant? ''

Rosebud: So we got married, had kids, and about 200 years later, they gave birth to Silver!

Platinum: I think the getting married and having kids part is accurate.

Silver: Hey! Only I can predict the future! And as far as I can tell, you are not my ancestors.

Rosebud: Hmmm. It was worth trying.

Wikikinetic: But the thing is that we still control the past! So, Silver, you are powerless to stop Platinum and Rosebud from becoming your ancestors.

Silver: That's not fair! You know what? I'm going to change the future with my own hands!

Shadow: It's useless to resist. Your efforts will be wasted.

Silver: Oh yeah? Come at me, bro! I'm your...Chaos...ite. That didn't work out very well, did it?

Rosebud: Nope!

Infinite: I’m the tallest of mountains...!

Shadow: It’s not worth trying. It just isn’t. You’re too weak!

Infinite: I AM NOT WEAK! STOP CALLING ME WEAK OR YOU WILL FACE MY WRATH!

Sonic: ...that just got violent.

Silver: Ditto.

Speedyblue: Speaking of Sonic Forces, maybe we can make a parody of it! SFW Forces!

Speedy the Fox: What the hell, Speedy?

Speedyblue: Don’t worry, it’ll be good! But, we’ll wait until this roleplay ends.

Sonic: I wish you could give the Avatar a name...

Speedyblue: I call him Buddy!

(Sonic gags due to the idea of that name.)

Sonic: Let’s just call him Avatar for now.

Speedyblue: Until SFW Forces, right?

Sonic: (Facepalm) Sure, why not?

Speedyblue: SFW Forces it is!

Speedy the Fox: Uuuuuuuuugh. I am just...astonished by how stupid that is.

Speedyblue: At least it’s not as stupid as the Tetris Trilogy! Yeah, I said it. They’re making a trilogy of TETRIS MOVIES! TETRIS!!!

Skyblade: I guess you could call them...blockbusters.

Vendeta Blue: (Teleports in, grabs Skyblade and teleports out).

Speedyblue: That...wasn’t funny. At all.

Sonic: Instead of watching the Tetris Trilogy, why not watch my movie? It’s coming out next year!

Speedyblue: But aren’t most video game movies awful?

Speedy the Fox: Directors need to get a girlfriend...or a boyfriend, if a straight female.

(Insert stock laugh track here.)

Speedyblue: NOT FUNNY!

Speedy the Fox: Yeah, I know.

Chapter 4: Miiverse for the Switch!
(I know that’ll never happen.)

Reggie Fils Aimé: Are you tired that you don’t get to message your friends on your Switch? Do you want to talk to them outside of the game? WELL, WE PRESENT TO YOU, MIIVERSE: NINTENDO SWITCH EDITION!

Speedyblue: Nooooooo! Now we have to read pointless posts all over again!

Speedy the Fox: (Posts “I hate my life” on Miiverse)

(Speedy sees her fursona’s post)

Speedyblue: That’s accurate. Reallllly accurate.

Sonic: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME ON MIIVERSE?!

Speedyblue: Because they’re Nintendo Fanboys.

Sonic: D-d-d-does anyone want to play Sonic Mania? No pressure. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Speedyblue: Oh no...

Shadow: Let me press this button. (Presses a button. Nothing happens) Damn it! This doesn’t work!

Sonic: Stop saying “damn”, Shadow. You have played way too much of your own game.

Speedy the Fox: (Singing) I see no hear no evil, black writings on the wall!

Speedyblue: Edgy!

Infinite: STOP SAYING THAT!

Shadow: Pathetic. I hope I never hear your pathetic words again.

Infinite: I AM NOT WEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

Miku: (Singing) Po pi po pi po po pi po! Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Silver: Stop screaming, blue haired girl!

Sonic: Did you even see her cosplay as me? She made me look...surprising attractive.

Speedyblue: I would’ve said「そのことで音の速さで幸運が回る. 」[“Good luck rolling around at the speed of sound in that thing” in Japanese]

Speedy the Fox: Being addicted to Vocaloid has really paid off, hasn’t it?

Speedyblue: Yes.

Silver: What’s a Vocaloid?

Speedyblue: You live in the future, shouldn’t you know?

(Silver shakes his head)

Miku: We can sing!

Silver: Oh, alright.

Miku: In different languages, too! I can speak Japanese, English, and Chinese!

Silver: Impressive!

Miku: Arigato!

Vendeta Blue: (Teleports in with Skyblade and then teleports out again)

Skyblade: HE MADE ME PLAY SONIC BOOM RISE OF LYRIC FOR 2 HOURS! (Starts weeping)

Speedy the Fox: Not THAT bad game!

Speedyblue: I would’ve done the same to Rosebud.

Rosebud: What?! Why me?!

Speedyblue: Because I hate you.

Rosebud: Hmmm. That makes sense.

Speedy the Fox: Why are you doing this, Blue?

Speedyblue: Me?

Speedy the Fox: (Facepalm) Ugh! Never mind...

Speedyblue: Well...I LOVE YOU SENPIA!

Miku: You mean senpai, right? (Blushes) I get shipped with everyone. EVEN KAITO!

Kaito: Although it’s kinda gross. Remember, you’re only 16...

Meiko: Nope! He’s mine!

Luka: What?! But...I loved him, too.

Gakupo: But I love you!

(The Vocaloids pointlessly argue.)

Speedyblue: And that is why I don’t watch anime!

Chapter 5: An Unfunny Yolk
Speedyblue: Hey! Why do people ship Knuckles with Blaze?

Everyone: I don’t know. Why?

Speedyblue: BECAUSE THEY’RE MARRIED!

Everyone: What?

Speedyblue: You see, in real life, their voice providers are married. It’s supposed to be funny!

Speedy the Fox: Aha! I get it now! It’s not funny. Don’t quit your day job.

Shadow: And don’t show your pathetic jokes around me.

Infinite: I AM NOT... wait, this doesn’t apply to me, does it?

Shadow: No. Not at all.

Infinite: Good. I’M THE TALLEST OF MOUNTAINS!

(Suddenly, Batman appears!)

Batman: I'M BATMAN.

Silver: What? That's irrelevant!

Knuckles: That's why it's in Sonic Boom!

Silver: Whaaat...it's not in Sonic Boom!

Knuckles: Someday it'll be in Sonic Boom, just you wait!

Batman: And you've all forgotten about HOW EDGY I AM. I just showed up to be an edgy character, and you are not properly utilizing my edginess!

Infinite: NO! I'M THE EDGIEST!

Batman. I'm the edgiest.

Infinite: I'm the edgiest!

Batman: I'm the edgiest.

Infinite: I'M THE EDGIEST!

Shadow: Hmph. Pathetic.

Infinite: I AM NOT WEEEEAK!

Batman: Come at me, bro! I’m your kryptonite.

Superman: No u.

Batman: You’re my greatest enemy...

Joker: SUPERMAN ISN’T A BAD GUY!

Batman: Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. I am fighting a few different people—

Infinite: Like me! Cause I'm the edgiest! (Rapping) I am the tallest of mountains, I am the roughest of waves—

Batman: (Blows raspberry)

Shadow: Would all of you just SHUT UP?! I’m the ORIGINAL edgelord.

Infinite: I...AM...NOT...

(Everyone sighs)

Everyone: Weak. You can continue your rap.

Infinite: (Rapping) I’m the toughest of terrors, I am the darkest of days!

Shadow: That technically applies to me. I don’t understand you. But at least you speak English. Unlike some popstars that Speedy is obsessed with...

Taehyung: Did you see my bag?

Jungkook: Did you see my bag?

Shadow: ...no.

Speedyblue: What color is it?

Jungkook: IT’S HELLA TROPHIES AND IT’S HELLA THICK!

Speedyblue: That doesn’t answer my question.

Speedy the Fox: Can I have your autograph?

Speedyblue: No. I’ll never let you get an autograph...at least not an autograph from two kids.

Sonic: At least they’re older than you!

Silver: How old are you two anyway?

Jungkook: 20.

Taehyung: 22.

Speedyblue: Oh...you’re of legal age. At least, in South Korea...

Sonic: That’s far from a kid!

Taehyung: (In Engrish) Oh no.

Jungkook: What?

Taehyung: (In Engrish) We actually lost the bag!

Shadow: Of course you did. Wait...then what is the bag in question?

Speedyblue: Bag is a codeword for accomplishments.

Shadow: Why a bag?

Infinite: (Rapping) I’m the last one that’s standing, don’t try and stand in my way!

Speedyblue: Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

Chapter 6: To Infinity and Beyond!
Infinite: My name’s in the title of this chapter!

Speedyblue: Naah. Not really.

Infinite: (Rapping) Cause I’ve been up against better, just take a look at my face!

Speedyblue: No.

Infinite: I’M THE EDGIEST!

Speedyblue: Still no.

Infinite: I’m not weak...?

Speedyblue: Shut up, before I rip the Phantom Ruby out of your chest and destroy it.

Infinite: But you can’t do that, because I’m the edigest! You said so.

Speedyblue: I don’t care! Batman is the edgiest!

Batman: I’m the edgiest!

Infinite: I ALREADY PROVED THAT I AM THE...

Eggman: (Singing) I am the Eggman! That’s what I am! I am the Eggman! I got the master plan!

Infinite: Master, I failed you.

(Recent edit by Wikikinetic!)

Watchmojo: Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and we’ll be counting down the top ten SFW pages!

Speedyblue: Hey, Wiki. I found something. Did you ever notice that your profile pic looks kinda like the WatchMojo logo...?

Wikikinetic: What does the WatchMojo look like? (Looks up WatchMojo on YouTube) Ah, I see. It's a cyan smiley-face...on a black background...so, sure, they're going to be similar, right?

Infinite: Nuh-uh, you don't get to be passive-agressive. That's my thing.

Shadow: No, you're the "edgiest edgelord". Psssh. Weak.

Infinite: I AM NOT WEEEEAAAAAK!

Wikikinetic: And "Psssh" is Coldsteel's thing.

Coldsteel: Psssh...nothin' personnel...kid...

Wikikinetic: Who are you calling a kid?

Coldsteel: I'm callin' you a kid.

Wikikinetic: Who are you calling a kid?

Coldsteel: Yeah, I'm callin' —(Wikikinetic gives Coldsteel one of his hardest stares ever) I'm callin' you a kid, but it's nothin' personnel...psssh...

Speedyblue: How’s Kevin been?

Speedy the Fox: Who’s Kevin?

Speedyblue: That guy he hates from school.

(Coldsteel starts saying various swear words)

Speedyblue: Holy crap! Your swearing is so offensive!

(Coldsteel says more swear words)