Talk:The Curse of Day/Part1/@comment-32712012-20170802073404/@comment-32712012-20170805003529

Leeprower1012, thanks for having your turn! There are a couple of things that you did on your most recent turn that may potentially cause problems, so I want to go over them with you and see if we can fix them.

First of all, Lee threw himself out of a forty-story hospital window. I don't think that most hospitals are that tall. Also, if Lee through himself out of a window that high and survived, his backpack is way more powerful than it should be. The fact that it can break into dust and reform is already pretty powerful.
 * Proposed solution: Make it something more like a two-story hospital window.

Second, you seem to be controlling members of Kable Enforcement. I think that Skyblade743 is technically supposed to be controlling Kable Enforcement (or at least, since they are controlling Kable, the boss of Kable Enforcement, I would say that you should ask them before controlling their units).
 * Proposed solution: Ask Skyblade743 if this usage of Kable Enforcement units is legitimate and, if not, have Skyblade743 change them to be more in character.

Third, Lee has two things with him that aren't very well explained: Onyx, and his "sound cannon".
 * Proposed solution: Briefly explain who Onyx is, and remove the sound cannon. Lee Prower already has such an amazingly powerful backpack that having him have a sound cannon out of nowhere (in his hospital room, no less)