Thread:Skyblade743/@comment-32220816-20180510052403/@comment-27984457-20180510060917

On the whole, I think it's good. Mac's snarky attitude and general overractiveness carries it a lot, and Scarlet's an interesting character, especially considering it looked a lot like "Mac would beat up the gang and take a shine to Scarlet" at the start. However, there's a few things I'd like to point out:
 * There's a few cases (albeit not many) of telling, not showing. Stories are more interesting if characters are shown to be something, instead of being told it. For example, saying someone is a badass is not as good as showing them decimate a gang of thugs, and (in the case of SR), saying a bartender was a noob isn't as good as showing them accidentally spilling over glasses and forgetting orders.
 * The only thing about the plot that really irks me is how a Chaos Emerald ended up in a jewellery store without anyone noticing? I'd understand if it was Pre-Super Genesis Wave (because Chaos Emeralds are everywhere) but not in this context.

Other than that, I'd say it's pretty good.