User blog:Nefereti/Magia

I want to open this out to the public. As some of you may know, I was writing a book called Cosmic Dawn. But, due to several changes, I changed the storyline and title, calling it Magia. Now, this book was inspired by many musical soundtracks, such as ones from Harry Potter, the title itself coming from the ending song of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Here's the prologue for it:

Our world is on the verge of collapse. Every century, a festival known as Walpurgis Night, otherwise known as Night of the Witches occurs on the darkest night of the year. It changes date, so we never really know; only appearing on the 13th day of Friday when there has been three eclipses. Walpurgis Night is where dark magic is unleashed onto the world and that the Dark Portal may be opened in order for us to learn and interact with these witches. But, a century ago, my ancestors got it wrong. When they opened the Dark Portal, they underestimated the witches’ power and goals. They spread across the land, vast in numbers and attacked the villages. This, was the work of Janus, a demonic God of the netherworld where these witches came from. Now, it’s up to us, the Noctem Aurora, to put this right. We must stop the dark forces, the But, let me tell you, things didn’t go quite to plan in my adventure…

This book is a dark fantasy, containing romance, horror, action and a slight comedy, espically from one of the characters (>.>). I want your guys opinions on the Prologue and if I could change anything.

Songs of Inspiration of Magia (that won't contain any spoilers!!!) -

Origin of the title: Magia by Kalafina.

Noctem Aurora and the main character's prayer: In Noctem (from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.)

Like I said, I want YOUR opinion on this, its good points and bad points and if it sounds interesting.