Thread:Speedyblue/@comment-32220816-20180509211208/@comment-32220816-20180509215945

I've read it, and honestly I'm kinda confused on how to critique it, but I'll try my best. It seems like you could be a bit more descriptive, and actually place a plot instead of making a bunch of randomness (which is the reason you hated TMSF). I also didn't find it that funny - too much fourth-wall breaking and the jokes could've been better-timed. You can't incluse comedy every sentence - I know you're one to wirte with humor, but it can't only be humor, or else it gets boring.

I'll give it 6.5/10.