User blog comment:Detective SkullWolf/Character Critique Requests/@comment-5899787-20140228082530/@comment-27765057-20140311230115

Miyuki Akuroma Review

(Note: If I don’t mention a section on your page, it’s either because I couldn’t come up with anything to say about it or there wasn’t really a need for me to say anything about it in the first place. In other words, it’s fine.)

History – (Note: I have not read the Sonic comics) I got a bit confused here. It started with her and Iblis, then she was suddenly a princess’s maid (also, it’s very vague when it talks about the princess. All I know is that she is the Princess of Mobius, really nothing else), and then she and Silver are transported to a battleship where she eventually becomes a robot that goes to college. Is this her time traveling (there is no indication if that’s the case? There is a lack of transition so you would have no idea)? If so, then she didn’t really wrap up the events that took place in the previous timeline. I was also curious as to learning more about Miyuki herself. This history really focuses more on the events around her than on Miyuki herself (at least until she becomes a robot, then it focuses on her more for whatever is left of the story. However, it should maintain a focus on her throughout the story). We could use a bit of polishing up here.

Personality – “Incapable of being alone” probably should be written as “does not like being alone”. I would like to know where she learned to fight (although that would probably fit more in the history).

Powers –

Cyrokinesis: It doesn’t really mention where she got this power. It would be nice to know.

Minor Chronokinesis: What do you mean by “minor”? Does it sometimes not work? Is it not very effective? Also, I don’t find it very believable that she got it from simple training. It would be more believable if someone taught her or an object grants her this power.

Conclusion: The best way to improve on this character is to polish up her history. I give this a carrot out of ten.