User blog:Flashfire212/On the recent...issues....

''Ok, Flare, breath. Breath. Get in control of your rage before making this blog. These people are your friends, your followers, your supporters. You need them. You helped build this site! Be reasonable, and you will keep the respect they've given you over these years.''

Yeah, yeah, shut up, conscience. I don't want control, I want to let them see what this is doing to my rather fragile mental state right now.

ARGH!!! You guys are driving me up the wall right now! Seriously. First, there was the whole crap-hole with White, someone I saw as having the same sort of personality traits as ME, back when I was just starting out as an admin, where the rest of the administration team made all the decisions, and I was the guy sticking up for the users that copped it on the chin. Then there was MORE crap with users, driving more people away. Then more. And more. And freaking more. And now this, where two of the wiki's best users and artists drive each other away. And what scares me - both were/are admins. Seriously, what's going on? Have all of you suddenly become possessed by some vengeful spirit and started attacking each other? Is this simply a place where you can slag each other out? Do the friendships you made on here mean NOTHING to you?

Ok, guess what? I'm not happy. That's kind of obvious. But what you don't understand, the wiki's become a refuge for me, where I can forget my stresses and relax. I used to have that with guitar and music, but recently, the lack of support for playing guitar from my school and being the only person with an original song who DIDN'T make it into the second round of the school talent night destroyed my self-confidence with that. But now, it's become another stress for me. I'm in my second last year of high school. I should really be pulling my finger out and doing homework NOW, not to mention most of the time I spend on here, but no. You guys are my friends, and I'm here to try to keep everything ship-shape. But no. My fragile mental state's pretty much being held together by a few strips of mental duct tape right now, and I think it's started to come apart around me. You guys, the inhabitants of my main refuge, are one of the many causes.

Guess what? I might have been planning to fly over to the US for a month or two around October/November next year, if the person I was going to stay with allowed me to. Now, I'm not so sure if I really want to, let alone if the old family friend would accept me for that time.

Look, I think we all need a break. I certainly do, Kagi and Light obviously do, and I'm sure that the rest of you have problems you have to sort out as well. Well, guess what? I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here, holding the fort in a way. But, for the rest of you American users, I have only two options - either I let you sort everything out and end up one of the last users after you all get dragged into a cultural revolution of your own creation, or I give all people whom I see at risk of burning out like Kagi has done within this last month or so an ENFORCED break. What do I mean by that? Well, I do what Guyviroth tried to do with me, a couple of years ago now. I ban you for a specified period of time, to keep you from coming back on here and dragging everyone else into your conflicts, and then, when you return, well-rested and at peace, we can function as a unit.

Also, I think we need a couple of extra admins, or at the very least rollbacks, to take some of the stress of me. I think I'm one of the last active admins, because Memph's taken a break, KP, Kagi and Light all chose to get demoted, leaving myself, Ryu and...well, from memory, that's about all of the active administrators there. Again, I'll deal with that another time. But seriously? Take my advice and have a rest. I'll hold the fort, keep all the working parts well-lubricated, and my ban-blades polished with the blood of Trolls that come to feed on this site. So...yeah, get yourselves together. That's what I'll be doing soon enough, but I'll still be here, should any of you need someone to confide in, some advice, or simply someone to attack - I have no fight left in me any more after having it kicked out through the back of my head almost two years ago, so I'll take it all, and never give you any damage back. Hopefully I see you all recovered and ready for action...

Sir Flare,   Knight of  The Flaming Sword  02:01, September 10, 2011 (UTC)