Talk:Unity/Chapter 5: Not Again/@comment-32712012-20180515141735/@comment-32712012-20180517023815

@Reens: I'm sorry, but I don't think that I could give any suggestions on how to fix this. However, I don't think that any changes actually need to be made until more of the story is written. Once the whole story is here, I can try to give more feedback about whether this scene needs to be changed in order to help with the story as a whole.