Talk:Bloktavia Rytangel the Bear/@comment-4107522-20170629183435

I think the abilities and items with the wand and such are well fleshed-out, as is the backstory for the most part, but there are some things that seem absent in one way or another.

In her personality, we get her co-worker rival and her narcassistic personality, but I don't see either represented in the backstory itself, be it her being motivated by personal gain or her civilian rival popping up in the story in relation to her powers.

Additionally, from the time she starts learning about her wand and the time she's in college, it feels like there was a lot left out that we're missing. The time between seems like it could include a lot of special events, especially if it was for 9 years.

Finally, with the teacher, while I like that there was some caution put into her trusting him, it seems a bit too trusting without acknowledging any of the potential dangers. A teacher close to a student who offers to help them with their powers could easily come across as something more predatotorial. Perhaps having her parents showing reaction or concern for how she spends so much time with the professor, even if they aren't aware of the powers, and any caution the main character may be feeling.



I think it's great aside form those things. Each different cube power with the elements is a bit standard, but it works well and it's used well here. The character doesn't seem under or overpowered so that's also good. The design is rather nice as well with the whole checkers and colors. It's just a few little plot-related details that stand out to me.