Thread:Wikikinetic/@comment-32220816-20180509215123/@comment-32712012-20180510025228

Sure thing! Here's the critique: And that is the entire critique. Should I add more?
 * Mac's characterization as the cocky and powerful but abysmally bored dude is perfectly executed. As such, not only does it convey the impression that you're going for, but it also makes the conclusion of the story make perfect sense, as it's obvious that Mac would do something like this just because of how bored he is. Good job with Mac's characterization!
 * For Scarlet's gang: The Buck-Scarlet relationship works, and Shirley is done reasonably well, but Blitz is somewhat confusing, as is his relationship with Buck. To add to that, Scarlet herself is not that well fleshed out, making her decision to leave the gang come as a complete non-sequitur, but not as something that makes sense given the situation or even as a shock, per se.