User blog:Puppy1/I need some outrageous stories

So I have these papers I give out a church (No one knows it's me 'cuz I put 'em on chairs) and i'm running out of ideas.....they need to be kid friendly, be outrageous like Elvis Presley being the 7th president, Brenda Song being related to Sacajawea and Satellites being powered by pudding...........