Talk:Raven the Cyberhog(Ultimatum)/@comment-6839973-20150527221100/@comment-4567194-20150527232001

Okay, I'll just do it here;I don't think it'll take that long.

Stage One: Appearance- I see that his design stayed the same. I can see that you got rid of the star-shaped necklace. I'm interested to see an actual pic of what he looks like now.

Stage Two: Personality- Okay, he has a nice personality. He's on the shy side, and could start a good conversation. He also is very kind and generous as you mentioned before. He's also very intelligent. Is that because of his robotic structure and programing or his shyness?

"After losing this form, all but his aggression, left him. This aggression stayed because an ongoing desire for payback for his fallen leader, Omega, and the destruction of his home world." Wait is his aggression still there or did it leave him?

Stage Three: History- Raven was the second born son of the Rose family, with the first being Amy. Wait-- I'm EXTREMELY confused... His name is "Raven Adameus Cyberhog", then should it be "Raven Adameus Rose"? Also, he's a robot, so wouldn't he be created instead of being born? And third, if I recall, Amy's..... 12 years old? How old is she in your universe.

Next, he wants to join the military at 12. From what I know, he STILL can't join. Don't you have to be 18 years old?

Oh boy, here's a no-no... " Following the horrendous injuries from the training and being airlifted to the infirmary, He is immediately taken to the Medical Deck, and they find that the injuries Also included nearly all ribs fractured, shattered femurs, punctured lungs, and a fractured skull." Okay, with an injury like that, he should be dead. In this case, shut down.

I'll just stop here with history, the rest seems fine to me.

Stage Four: Skills, Abilities and Powers- Radiokinesis. Fine. Pretty cool actually. Nuclear based attacks. Fine. Also somewhat cool. Now here's a problem: Superspeed up to the point where he is faster than Sonic. This is not good. Superspeed is fine but being faster that Sonic sounds a little Marty-Stuish. Totally my opinion, sorry.

Raggadak Gems replace the Powercore Gems. No more Wilderbeast. No more Darkspine. Just Rokshamiin Raven.

Good skills in combat and weaponry. Good with rifles and guns. That's pretty good. He has a skill that is working in progress. GOOD. We all need something to work on.

Stage Five: Weaknesses- He will rust and stay frozen if he is frozen. Kinda reminds me of the Tin Man..... What's Ixis Naugus? He can also be hacked into. That's scary. And arachnophobia. Everything here is normal.

Stage Six: Relationships- He really has no friends? What about Krys? (Let's keep Raven away from Ricardo to avoid tension...) What about Trinity? What about Christina? No enemies? What about Vultra? Metal Raven? Team Fashion? Radon?

Stage Seven: Immunity- You removed the immortalizer thingy from him. Yay for normality!

That's all I have. Just tone down on the superspeed, rework the history, and add stuff about his transformation. Also, he should really start making friends. These are only suggestions, reply if you have any questions/concerns/comments.