Talk:Unity/Chapter 5: Not Again/@comment-32712012-20180515141735/@comment-32220816-20180517024219

I can, if you don't mind.

1. Make Reens' part faster. I read through some of it faster because it was pretty boring. It gives character insight, but shortening it wouldn't really remove stuff.

2. Also, I think you need to press "Enter" more, especially when two characters are talking. It looks kind of messy.

3. Maybe it's just me, but Sneer's grandparents seem to only have the emotin "hate." Maybe try making them look like characters instead of mere obstacles could help - for example, maybe show them being stressed (and not about Sneer)?.