Talk:Jim the Dog/@comment-32220816-20180507015344

Max's Critique!

First, the infobox. Most of it seems pretty good - the only issue I have with it is the "Likes/Dislikes" sections. Listing can make it seem bland, like you could place it in the Triva. For example, instead of saying "Philan's likes: taking walks, making ice cream, hanging out with friends" you could say "Philan likes taking walks, preferably on the beach due to him loving the sensation he feels on his feet. Philan also enjoys making ice cream from a young age, mostly because he can make it for himself and love its taste. Philan loves hanings out with his friends, due to his fear of being alone." Other than that, the infobox seems good, though, so good job!

Appearance is up next. While it overall seems pretty good, I'd advise you to stop making comparisons to canon characters' looks, as it may make you look unoriginal. On the subject on Jim's actual appearance, I suppose that his base design is cool, though it could be cooler with more clothing. It looks alright by himself though. (I'd like to see him in his gi sometime!)

Personality seems terribly out-of-character with what I've seen of him in DoD. He feels more like an actual teenager than a hyperactive child. He seems modest, and based on his Personality section, he's supposed to be more of the wild risk-taker. When Tina and Mac were talking to him, he showed relief with Tina and nervousness with Mac. Plus, he shows zero overconfidence or cockiness. You probably need to rewrite this section to match how you play Jim.

Skills, Abilities, Power and Weaknesses - I think you should compress these sections because they're all pretty short and unnecessary to have their own headers. For the actual sections, they're decent, but by the lack of items in each section it makes Jim feel more normal than one of the heroic Knothole Freedom Fighters.

I won't critique Relationships due to it being unfinished.

Trivia is good, but I'd suggest editing out the part that says Jim is like Uzumaki.

Overall Rating: 7/10.