Talk:Yazi Galatean the Red Panda/@comment-4107522-20170717204512

Alrighty, let's do dis.

Starting with the art, I think it's pretty good for pencil and such. The hands and staff have some sloppy smudging but that's to be expected. I can't tell if it's outlined in pen or not, but I think using pen to outline drawings after completion will help to make the shapes pop more.

You got the species down very well, particularly with the face.

The outfit looks cool, like a sort of explorer type. The jacket and shorts, along with the fingerless gloves, fit well. It gives the impression he's going to somewhere hot.

Now, for the appearance, I think it can work for someone 19 years old. It's hard to make older-looking mobians at times, but considering the artstyle is more traditional game-Sonic mobian. As for the height, you say this is below the average for his university, but does that also apply to every type of mobian for his world? The average given by SEGA is 3 feet tall (which makes no sense, but whatever). 4,2 sounds a bit tall--my average is 4 feet even personally--but I'm not gonna critique height since that's up to you.

I notice his birthday but not the year put. A year and timeline for this would be nice.

Does his Chinese zodiac hold relevance outside of him being a Red Panda?

I find his personality to be rather realistic. I get the sense of someone who wants to simply not be looked down upon and not have any connotations put on his character rather than someone who wants to prove himself to others, which I think is refreshing. Often there are characters who want to show that they're capable and as good as others, but in this case, it just feels like a guy who wants to be treated normally without having to prove to others when he doesn't feel he should have to.

I like that we get the name of the hospital and location. Good detail. I'd like to see some age comparisons though at the Birth and Family Life sections. Otherwise it just seems like his sibling was already at the Five Star Hotel when he was born.

I like the idea of the diary program and story format thing but it kind of jumps in out of nowhere. The story within the section is good, but when other parts are summaries of his story, it doesn't stand out in a good way. When you're doing a summary, a lot of things aren't supposed to be completely obvious as the plot progresses, but with a summary, people expect to be given all the important information in a precise and organized manner. With this, it seems like a quick footnote with the important information spread out instead of consise.

As the backstory continues, it gets back to the summary format, and it works well. I get a sort of Moon Knight feeling from it, questioning what's real and what's not. Considering powers come next, and there isn't much I see in the backstory, it's a bit disappointing to not see how those appear for him in-story

I like the Cosmic shift ability, going to a different plane of existence in a sense: kind of like ghosting.

The star bomb thing is creative.

I like the staff, though I think I'm noticing a pattern in your characters and them having magical weapons.

I think the powers are balanced enough, but I'm seeing a lack of weaknesses stated outside of the cooldown for the Chakram and his body's weakness in combat. I think making a separate weakness section would help to point those out more easily.