Board Thread:Article Critique/@comment-1587581-20140823073825/@comment-4232858-20150322010722

To start, you might want to fix the grammar and formatting a bit. Some of the paragraphs stretch on a bit too far.

In the history, you mention a pit of despair, but what exactly is that? You also mention him meeting his "best friend" later on, but do not explain who that is, it could help if you were to maybe add hyperlinks within the text to better clear things up. Overall, the history has potential to be good, but just needs some things explained in deeper detail.

you go back and forth in the personality a bit, it would help if you would re-organize it to fix this issue. But nonetheless, it is a believable personality, one I can imagine some actual people having.

Overall, the page and it's contents are good, but could be improved with deeper explanations as to what everything is and improved formatting/grammar.